


A Little Green

by Not_You



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Double Drabble, Gen, Penis Size, Sexual Humor, Tony Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4276542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Bruce have a conversation brought on by my own bemusement at the widely-accepted idea that Hulk's dick <i>must</i> be impossibly, orifice-destroyingly large.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Green

**Author's Note:**

> Presented with profoundest apologies to Joni Mitchell.

“Seriously, question time: how big is Hulk's dick?”

“...I'm not even surprised you'd ask that. You may want to re-think your life.”

“Way too late for that. Come on, for science!”

“He's usually too pissed off to think about his male ego, Tony.”

“Yeah, but does it get in the way? Has he ever smashed anything with it?”

“Tony!”

“What? It's a reasonable question!”

“No, the Hulk has never smashed anything with his dick. Jesus, Stark.”

“Ain't that a damn shame?”

“ _Tony._ ”

“Okay, okay. But come on, you must have some data on this.”

“...As far as I know, the proportions remain almost constant.”

“So, you go from 5'8” to 8'6”...”

“I know what you're going to ask me now, Tony, and so help me--”

“What, you're gonna lie and say you've never measured? Please.”

“...Four inches flaccid, six otherwise.”

“So that's nine and a bit as the Hulk, assuming it grows as much as the rest of you.”

“Yes, I suppose it is.”

“So, totally doable, is what you're telling me.”

“Tony, do not attempt to bag the Hulk. I know you're a collector and an adrenaline addict, but try to have _some_ sense of self-preservation.”

“Never, baby.”


End file.
